I don't even know where to start with this story--its that crazy! I guess I will start with the discovery of the squirrel.
In the not-so-distant past, Duff took the puppy out for her usual mid-morning romp around the block. Upon their return, Duff noticed the puppy was taking a considerable interest in the curb, exactly at the point where our property meets the neighbor's property. A quick glance informed Duff that Riley's interest was drawn to a sadly deceased squirrel laying on the ground near the curb. He veered the puppy away and didn't think about the squirrel again.
Later that day, in the early afternoon, Duff was disturbed from his studies by a loud banging on the front door. He stretched, then walked over to find an older woman at our front door. It was a woman we know from the neighborhood. She lives two streets down and has a German Shepard (Shannon) that she walks past our house roughly 10 times per day (that is only a slight exaggeration, the actual number is at least 6). She is also known for providing heaps of unwanted advice.
Shannon's owner informs Duff that we have a squirrel on our property. Duff looks at her quizzically. We have lots of squirrels on our property. We practically live in squirrel heaven with all of our oak trees. Shannon's owner then repeats that we have a dead squirrel on our property, kindly informs Duff of the location of the dead squirrel and tells him to remove the squirrel post haste. Apparently, this can be easily done with the use of a grocery bag. Duff nods his understanding and goes back into the house (this is the usual method in our neighborhood of dealing with this woman's advice, although we have been informed by at least one neighbor that he will drop his yard tools and go in the house every time he sees her coming rather than having to deal with her).
When I return from work that day, I am accosted by Duff the moment I step in the door (it was quite a circus with not only Riley but also Duff jumping around me in excited anticipation).
Duff: "You will never guess what happened today."
Me: "Um, probably not."
The story of the original squirrel encounter and Shannon's owner's visit ensues.
Me: "But I thought you said the squirrel is in the road."
Duff: "It is."
Me: "So why would we take a dead squirrel that's not on our property and put it on our property to throw it away? Are you even supposed to put dead animals in the garbage? Isn't that some sort of bio-hazard?"
Duff: "Don't look at me."
Later that evening, I took Riley for a pre-bedtime walk. I had completely forgotten about the excitement surrounding the dead squirrel. However, it quickly came back to me as Riley started pulling hard as we approached our property. I apologize if this is gross, but I of course felt the need to inspect the squirrel to determine cause of death (yes, I do watch and immensely enjoy Bones).
The squirrel had no visible signs of trauma, so most forms of violent death were out. I came to one of two conclusions: 1) disease or 2) electrocution. Since no other dead squirrels have been found in that location and there are a number of squirrels that use the power lines as their personal highway, I opted for option 1--disease. When we entered the house that night, I informed Duff that no way were we touching that squirrel, it probably has a disease of some sort, besides its about a foot off the curb and not on our property, so let's leave the squirrel to either the city or nature to take care of. And that was the end of that.
Until the next morning, that is.
At 6:30 a.m., I awoke at my usual time and took Riley for her walk. We returned to the house without incident and no indication that anything was out of the ordinary. At 7:15, I was in the middle of a shower when Duff returns from his morning bible study.
Duff: [Yelling] "Jo, have you seen the garbage can this morning?"
Me: "Um, yes. It looked tall, grey and imposing. Why?"
Duff: "There wasn't anything on the garbage can when you walked the dog?"
Me: "No. What are you talking about?"
Duff: "You have to see this." Upon which I was dragged from the bathroom in only a robe and a towel to look out the window (I know, its just how I want the neighbors to see me, too).
On top of the garbage can, we see this:
I know, we couldn't believe it either. We looked at each other in stupefaction for at least two minutes.
We then went through the five stages of crazy neighbordom: denial (there is not a dead squirrel in a plastic grocery bag on our garbage can), anger (who does she think she is to walk onto our property and put a dead squirrel on our garbage can), disbelief (seriously, who even thinks that is ok), acceptance/laughter (self-explanatory) and finally, gossip (we totally have to tell D and A, our thirty something non-crazy neighbors who we love to hang out with).
In a fit of pique, we decided that putting a dead animal carcass on our property was not acceptable neighborly behavior. But since neither of us wanted to actually pick up the dead squirrel and deliver it to our neighbor's house, we decided to pose a silent protest. So we left the dead squirrel exactly where it was. We didn't put it in the garbage can, we didn't even touch the garbage can. We just left it there. Until garbage day. Three days later. At which point, we wheeled the garbage can to the curb with the squirrel still on top.
This morning, a full two weeks later, I woke up late so I let the puppy out in the yard to do her business (sorry, no walk today!). As I was standing there, I saw Shannon's owner making her way up the street towards our house. I was distracted for a few moments by Riley trying to eat dirt and when I looked up again, Shannon was no longer there. Apparently, our silent protest did its job and Shannon's owner decided to walk a different way to avoid seeing me. I can only shake my head at that.
So that, my friends, is the Great Dead Squirrel Debacle.
